..·:*¨*:·.rachael.·:*¨*:·.. 's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] ..·:*¨*:·.rachael.·:*¨*:·.. [ website | babygirl ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

4 <3*!s x love me [28 Apr 2002|10:49am] [ mood | hopeful ] People!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :X I have a new LJ, add it please ;x glamorize its friends only this time :X

13 <3*!s x love me [24 Apr 2002|07:25pm] Does anyone have any extra codes they would be willing to give to me? I'm going to clean out my friends list, so if you wanna stay on, comment to this, if not, guess you don't care. And i'm making this friends only, but it'll take a lil time before I do that, so If you wanna stay on, then comment, if not, dont ;D

2 <3*!s x love me erggg [24 Apr 2002|04:11pm] [ mood | calm ] [ music | TyresE *sweet lady* ] Okayyyyy.... Whole thing about the katie thing. Thought about it, went with my gut feeling, and now I'm going to write about it. Yesterday at work I was thinkin about it, wanting to cry but didn't cuz i had cried earlier for like a freakin hour and then I asked crystal and hope about the whole katie thing. I told 'em that I ignore her b/c she annoys me sometimes and sometimes i'm just in a bad mood and dont wanna talk to her and I also told em that she doesnt call me a real friend and her major problem is dusten. And they were like shes just jealous. Then I was thought to myself, I never really pictured her as the jealous type but then again she's told me that she's been jealous of other people just really never showed it and I dunno I think that's why I never accused her. But now, it clicks ;X B/c Dusten is Katie's ex, he left her for me, he's been in love with me for a year, he's tried to get with me ever since July of last year, and he's crossing a couple of states to see me this summer and spend just about a month with me. Katie's never had that and I'm experiencing it and I think she thinks that i'm taking advantage of it and I dunno. I've never been that special to someone, for them to spend ohh, 4 grand on me, never had it. A grand to come here and like the other 3 in phone bills :XXXXX I've never been that special to someone so I'm being a lil snobby about it towards Katie I think and I understand why she's doing/saying the things she's said/done. And like now, I'm watching Oprah and its about a 14 yr old girl killing herself b/c so many people called her names, no friends (meaning high social status and like 100 friends lmao) but she did have 1 best friend. And the best friend didnt talk to her and the other girl killed herself and then the best friend felt guilty. And i'm thinking about that and I really don't want that to happen between me and katie. My heart is in the right place, its just all the other shit thats not. And if Katie ever killed herself b/c of things going on at home, at school and then me adding on to it, I wouldn't be able to bare it. My heart has always been in the right place, and I hate when someone like Katie says its not, or basically said its not. I think what adds to it is the fact that me and katie dont go to the same schools anymore and thats why she feels like im really ignorin her, whether on the phone or net. But we both know that we always fight on the net and over the phone she wont come out and say "this is my problem" and I totally understand that, I used to be that way. I just wish she'd give me a hint and I think what we're going through now is a hint. I would just like some help from you katie to at least try and make it right for the last time. Come to an understanding without getting pissy at each other and without blockin, etc to each other. So whatever, call, email, IM whenever. I'm sorry for the things i've said and yes you can call me two-faced or whatever its just that i always feel bad when I say shit like that to someone like you

2 <3*!s x love me [23 Apr 2002|05:30pm] PleEaZzMe [5:22 PM]: i've been to nyc more than you have katie, so dont say "shes never spent a night in nyc" which u never knew of PleEaZzMe [5:23 PM]: and read your mail and i think u already did yello duhk x [5:23 PM]: um der its the first thing i do PleEaZzMe [5:23 PM]: and what u said was totally and utterly uncalled for yello duhk x [5:23 PM]: ok? ur point? yello duhk x [5:23 PM]: u dont think i have feelings either? PleEaZzMe [5:23 PM]: ok, my point, yea it is your right to do that, but watch me do the same but 10 times worse yello duhk x [5:24 PM]: bull shit yello duhk x [5:24 PM]: u dont even see wtf ur doing PleEaZzMe [5:24 PM]: neither do u yello duhk x [5:24 PM]: yeah i do PleEaZzMe [5:24 PM]: yeah, oh really katie, enlighten me then yello duhk x [5:25 PM]: ok i know ive made u feel like shit yello duhk x [5:25 PM]: but its the golden rule yello duhk x [5:25 PM]: treat others as they treat you yello duhk x [5:25 PM]: so it was time for you to have a taste of your own medicine PleEaZzMe [5:26 PM]: in todays society, that means shit, in real life, things arent fair and you wont get treated with respect unless u gain it, etc yello duhk x [5:26 PM]: you got a taste of ur own medicine get the fuck over it rachael PleEaZzMe [5:26 PM]: katie lmao yello duhk x [5:26 PM]: rachael, fuck off PleEaZzMe [5:26 PM]: did u not even read that email PleEaZzMe [5:27 PM]: you're not the real friend PleEaZzMe [5:27 PM]: you were never there when i really needed u PleEaZzMe [5:27 PM]: so i wasnt there for you PleEaZzMe [5:27 PM]: thats a taste of your own medicine PleEaZzMe [5:27 PM]: did the same shit that u did to me PleEaZzMe [5:29 PM]: so dont tell me "you finally got a taste of your own medicine" Then I got kicked off and I dont think she saw the last couple of sentences b/c she's so fucking stupid as fuck. You were never a true friend b/c you were never really there even though you'll deny that. You were never there when I almost died, and when I fucking told you, and fucking showed you, you didnt do JACK SHIT. You didnt know what to do and you fucking freaked. You were never there for me so I was never there for you b/c you hurt me so fucking much. You dont even know. You fucking know what happened to me as a kid, etc but yet you dont fucking understand it. You dont understand anything at all katie. You're pissed at me forever? Thats such a laugh. Now I know why I ignored you, because I outgrew you. I didn't need your friendship, I still dont. You've had a much more glamorous life than I have. Even though my family has more money than yours, you've had a more glamorous life, as in childhood and what not. So shut the fuck and you suck it up. I've been hurt all of my life, haven't had a true friend til you and you just proved you werent. So don't talk to me, don't call me, don't email me, don't IM me, dont do anything that deals with me.

1 <3*! x love me not meant for anyone, just the way i feel [23 Apr 2002|05:09pm] [ mood | crushed ] [ music | StainD ] The walls around me caving in Cracked and grey Remind me of myself, I need some help There's no one else I'm empty Addicted Pissed off And still afraid Of what you Have left me To live in This mess you've made I feel... Useless... Jaded... Nameless the ride is over I've come down Hate to be Can't rely upon myself, for my own health I'm so fucked up Distorted Dysfunctional and drained All my deep rooted Fears seem to get The best of me I feel... Useless... Jaded... Nameless I hate the way you fuck with me You can't rely on open eyes to see I force these painful visions from my head You won't be happy till I break down I feel... Useless... Jaded... Nameless

7 <3*!s x love me [21 Apr 2002|08:20pm] I hate being ugly.

2 <3*!s x love me [20 Apr 2002|09:53pm] Layne Staley, the vocals of Alice in Chains, dead.... Fuck. Fuck it all. Fuck this world. Fuck everything. Fuck you. He had an awesome voice, talent and life, thrown away by supposed drug overdose, fuck.

2 <3*!s x love me so fuckin BOREDDDDDDDD [20 Apr 2002|09:00pm] [ mood | lalallalallal ] [ music | It goes around the world *dances* ] *name- Rachael *age- 15 *sex- Female. *dob- November o2, 1986 *location- High Point, North Carolina *siblings- uhmm, we havent talked and in a very long time ;/ Katie- 15 *flirty- hardly never anymore *shoe size- 10 *hair color- Brownish red *first crush- Paul ;x Oh gooshhh, you wanna hear the story? When I lived in New Jersey, I was turning 7 and I was in a Catholic private school and I was in the gym b/c i had after school day care and my mom comes and picks me up and like I'm the last to leave and like i pick up all the balls and put em in a sack and put it over my shoulder, and the bitch Tiffany comes and steps on it and i fall down and get the wind kicked out of me lol Then me and my mom go outside and I turn the corner and Paul is in a suit, waiting by a white limo, holding a present, I thought it was the sweetest thing ;D Then we went to Chucky Cheeses'!!! ;X *boyfriend/girlfriend now: Yes *crush- no *color of your room- Blue and Yellow *righty or lefty- Righty. *hobbies- i'm sooo tryin to get back into singing, i miss it so much, even my dad was like "are you giving up singing?" and i was like "uhmm" then he was like "you have a beautiful voice, if you put effort into it, it'd be better" then i told him i am taking like some type of singing next year, just cant remember what ;x Other hobbies: work, music, singing, smiling, trying to enjoy things *sign- Scoprio ;D Questions on guys, for girls to fill out *boxers/briefs- uhmm briefs only look good on a guy that is cut lol, but yeah boxers *long/short hair- Not longer than mine ;D and mines longggg ;P but i dunno, like sunshine in Remember the Titans, sooo SEXY :X *tall or short- Taller than me. *pack/muscular arms- Both, if possible, but I don't really care... *good/bad guy- Depends on your definition of bad and good ;D *ear pierced, or not?- oooo guys were their cartilage pierced is sexy ;x i dont care, just as long as they dont pierce their nipple like Justin A., i'm startin worry about him...lol *tan or fair- Doesnt matter. *freckles or none- Doesn't matter. *stubble or neatly shaved- Shaved. *accent or american- uhmmm ozzys accents are awesome ;X *would you ever go out with someone whos ugly?- I'm ugly myself, so I'm kind of forced to. lol :X *punk or prep- doesnt matter On preferences.... *cuddle or make out- Cuddle. *chocolate milk, or hot chocolate- Hot chocolate. *mcdonalds or burger king?- McDonalds. *coke or pepsi- Coke. *would you wanna marry your best friend, or the perfect lover- Both. *root beer, or dr pepper- ohhh man, both ;D *tea/coffee/cappuccino- tea *cats or dogs- Dogs. *mud or jello wrestling- Mud wrestling. *milk, dark, or white chocolate?- dark chocolate. *sunny or rainy- Rainy. *winter, summer, fall, or spring- spring and fall :D *vanilla or chocolate- Chocolate *skiing or boarding- Boarding. *biking or blading- Blading. *cereal or toast- Neither. I hate breakfast. *do ya like rock, punk, rap, r and b, alternative, techno, pop, or country- I like everything except most rap ;D and most pop ;P *bunk or water bed- Water bed. *lights on or off- Off. friends *My friends- yeah, too many *Friends that you look like- None... *You go to for advice- I don't usually ask for advice.. *Who do you tell all ur secrets too?- Whoever I feel I can trust at the moment. youre favorites *color- Yellow and blue *number- 2,3,10,11 *movie- a lot *subject- Biology...lmao...especially when we disected the Frog friday, i was so gettin into it lmao, rippin out the liver and the stomach and ick ;x it smelt horribly :XX and of course math unfortunately :D *song- too many *sport to play- basketball, swimming *sport to watch- football :XXX *drools* *favorite drink- uhhh Dr. Pepper *truth or dare- both *ocean or pool- ocean *love or lust- Love *silver or gold- Silver. *diamonds or pearls- ohhh hard ONE :X diamonds are foever, pearls are for prom and wedding :XXXXXXx lol *sunset or sunrise- Sunset. *showers or bubble baths- bubble baths!! rubber duckie ;X misc. questions *do you like school- I'm ready to get out... *do you like to talk on the phone- yeah *do ya have your own phone line- yeah *can we have your number- uhhhhh no ;D *do you like to dance- Yes. *are you scared to ask out your crush- Yes. *do you think cheering is a sport- Fuck no. 1: Been kissed? **Yes. 2: Done drugs? **yes 3: Eaten an entire box of Oreos? ***No. 4: Been on stage? **Yes, for many different things. 5: Dumped someone else? **Yes. 6: Gotten in a car accident? **Yes. 7: Watched "Punky Brewster"? **no 8: Been in love? **yes. Favorites... 9: Shampoo: **uhhh havent really found it lmao 10: Toothpaste: **uhmm chest 11: Soap: **bath and works shower gel, coconut *yum*, but i hate coconuts :X 12: Type of soup: **Chicken noodle. 13: Room in your house: **My room. 14: Instrument: **Acoustic guitar. Either/Or.. 15: Coffee or hot chocolate? **Hot chocolate. 16: Big or little? **Uh... 17: Lace or satin? **Satin. 18: New or old? **Old. 19: Neve Campbell or Jennifer Love Hewitt? **Neve Campbell 20: Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt? **Tom Cruise....oh gosh :D 21: Vogue or Material Girl? **Vogue. 22: Jeans or cords? **Jeans. 23: Sweater or sweatshirt? **Sweater. 24: T shirt or tank top? **T-shirt. 25: Skirt or dress? **Skirt. 26: Wool or cotton? **Cotton. 27: Rose or Lily? **Rose. 28: The way it is or the way it was? **The way it is. 29: Oldies or pop? **Both. 30: Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? **Yes 31: Do you have a best friend? **Yes. In the last 24 hours, have you... 32: Cried? **Yes 33: Helped someone? **uhmm not really lol 34: Bought something? **No. 35: Gotten sick? **No. 36: Gone to the movies? **No. 37: Gone out for dinner? **No. 38: Said "I love you"? **Yes 39: Written a real letter? **no 40: Moved on? **No. 41: Talked to an ex? **Yes. 42: Missed an ex? **No 43: Written in a journal? **What am i doing now.... 44: Talked to someone you have a crush on? **No. 45: Had a serious talk? **Kinda... 46: Missed someone? **Yes. 47: Hugged someone? **No. 48: Fought with your parents? **Surprisly no ;D 49: Fought with a friend? **No Do you..... 50: Wear eye shadow? **Yes. 51: Put on a "front"? **Yes. 52: Kiss on the first date? **Depends on my mood at the time. 53: Have a crush on someone? **No 54: Eat with your mouth open? **no 55: If you got a tattoo, where would you get it, and what would be? **i've actually been lookin up designs cuz i want one on my right shoulder blade so bad lol 56: What color is your floor/carpet in your room? **Blue 57: What was the last CD you bought? **Burned copy of Adema ;D 58: How did you spend last summer? **At camp ;D 59: When's the last time you showered? **Today 60: Are you tired? **Not really. 61: Are you lonely? **As always. 62: Are you happy? **I dont know 63: Are you wearing pajamas? **YES :X lmao 64: Are you talking to someone online? **He wont talk.... 65: What are the initials of your crush/interest/spouse? **DTH 66: What is your astrological sign? **This was asked lol, Scorpio 67: What is the sign of your crush/interest/spouse? **Libra 68: What time is it? **9:28PM.

9 <3*!s x love me [20 Apr 2002|06:25pm] I should be high right now, but i'm not.... Someone shoot me please

love me [20 Apr 2002|01:49pm] The question... To smoke or not to smoke?????? Since it is 420, and I do have a 15 sac just waiting in my bedroom, with my name on it, and its saying "rachael, smoke me now damnit" b/c i havent in uhmm let me go check, since last monday, thats a LONG time for me...lol But i dunno, robert was like "daves pickin us up at 5:30" and i just wanna say "fuck you robert, you're not even a friend" cuz ergg, i dunno. yeah anyways, i have to work tomorrw, wonderful.... yeahhh FUCKERS :X totally fucked my pay check over, FUCKERRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, i had 56 hours, they said 42, FUCKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs anyways, im in a cleaning mood (rare)

5 <3*!s x love me [17 Apr 2002|10:19pm] I feel unwanted and hated, why?

5 <3*!s x love me yay! [15 Apr 2002|04:16pm] Happy 2nd Month Anniversary Dusten!!! I love you ;) [Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<marquee [...] ">') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Happy 2nd Month Anniversary Dusten!!! I love you ;) <center><marquee style="filter:wave(add=10,* phase=1, freq=2,strength=45); scrollamount=" scrolldelay="30" height="300" "=""" width="100%" direction="up" 1"="1"> I l o v e y o u D u s t e n </center></marquee>

1 <3*! x love me okkk ;x [14 Apr 2002|07:35pm] i am what sexual performer are you?

5 <3*!s x love me okayyyyyyy ;D [14 Apr 2002|10:06am] [ mood | irritated ] [ music | watchin mighty ducks 2 ;D ] Sorry I haven't written in here lately, just been sorta, uhm busy i guess ;x I wrote in here tuesday? yeah, weds uhm heh i dunno, thurs, uhm boring yeah, friday i had to work and yesterday i had to work and today i gotta work, such fuckers ;x Anyways... Remember when I was almost dead, 2 days after my birthday, 20 pills should do it i thought. You were right there next to me on my birthday, after practice, we saw a movie and i was at my lowest and you did nothing, i took pills right underneath your nose, a week in the hospital should change the feelings, nope, not at all. You want to kill yourself? I've been there and back, and you fucking know it. And you say I dont know how it feels? When i knew life meant much more, i grew inside. You cry b/c you think no one cares? you always say i dont know how it feels. When you really don't even know yourself. I came close to death, i was emotionally unstable, i went too far. You say your depressed again. Then do something about it, turn that depression into something good like i know you can. You're already beginning to defend yourself when it comes to family, take that extra step. I've always admired you for your abilities that you dont know of but i know you can reach them. And you know how to defend yourself online, but in person you dont but you're doing that with your parents and i dunno if i helped or not but im proud. But when i dont talk to you its just that sometimes i need a lil time away cuz everyone needs "me" time. But please dont ever think about taking your life, for what, i dont know. But for you to sit there and tell me that you cant trust me with your life, hurt like a mother fucking bitch, i sat there and cried. You say I'm selfish and self-centered, so are you to an extent. You want attention, you always do, when you dont get something or that attention you totally freak and just blame everyone else. All of my life, i've been lied to, ever since my earliest memories, i've been lied to. My parents, and my family especially. And my parents always calling me uncalled for names whenever i dont do something to their expectations, that makes you feel uncared for. Like no one cares at all. And no one did thats why their trying to make up for all of their fuck ups now if you dont see that and thats why i cant stand em. Thats why you may think i'm being disrespectful, i respect them but to an extent, theres a limit. I know their my parents, but their people as well and they dont treat me like one. And to my understandings, your parents were there when you were little. You had a brother, i had a sister but she died so no siblings. You know my whole life has been pain, so when im self centered and dont really care at all, sorry. I take care of myself before anyone else, cuz i never did that before. You have to heal yourself before you can really help anyone else, i mean really help them. All of my life i've watched how people act, i've always been a spectator, watching, listening. I know what goings on, i just dont respond. Now if you wanna keep your distance, and keep blocking me b/c i know you did, i'm not really stupid, go for it. You know i'm always here, you just never say "Rach, i gotta talk to you about something important", if you would say that in the beginning, trust me you'd have my attention. But you play it off like nothings wrong and i did that too until i met fuckin mike which the bastard made me open, but you cant expect me to know off the bat katie, you gotta tell me something so i'll pay attention....erg ok this is gettin long and i can go on forever ;D okayyyy that was long ;x somewhat anyways. I gotta go to work at 1 til 6, big woop. Oh lmao, theres this new guy named uhh trevor and yeah, he's a skin head :X lmao Yeaahhh anyways lmao :X OH! i'm a cit, i got the "official" letter thursday and i checked off all the dates that dustens gonna be there ;D yay :) He's comin here for a couple days like the week of the fourth of july ;) yayyy i get paid the 19th and heh i dont gotta work 420 ;D I'm happyyyy so happyyyyy and with my paycheck i'm gettin either a new phone cuz the one in my room fuckin SUCKS or a cell phone, i dunno. ohhhh dude, last night on the way home from work my dad was tellin me about gettin me either a 70 chevelle ss 396 (its nott a 454 ;*****(), or a late model z28 like the one my momma used to have, like in the late 80s or a late 80s t/a like the blue one my momma used to have ;XXXXXXX I was like "are you serious?" and he was like "yep" and then he was sayin how a jeep is like a good everyday car and all but a chevelle, t/a and z28 is a high school car lol i was like hell yea!!!!!!!!!! ;D anyways, i'm like uhmm in pain ;/ pms'in like mad crazy ;XX

2 <3*!s x love me okay you know whats really, really weird?? [09 Apr 2002|04:06pm] [ mood | grrrrr ] [ music | watching oprah ;XXX ] Okay, today, I didnt think of Mike at all, didn't cry, didn't have ANY emotions towards him, i completely forgot its our 6 month break up ann. lol It never phased me at all and like i get home and i saw some people on away and i lmao i always get on aim to see wha it says cuz im just nosy like that and when i did, i saw mikes sn on. And it was like "whoaaaa" and i was remembering all the shit lol. And im not in love with him anymore and i dont feel bad, depressed anymore, which is good. The only problem is that i compare mike to everybody else and erg ;D I dunno, i'm lookin at his sn and its like "say something, say something you bastard" and like lmfaoooooooooooooooooooo GRRRRRRRRR i hate it ;D i've tried talking to him but he hates me with a passion lmao. OH FUCKING WELL GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... i gotta go to work at 5.... i wrote dusten a letter.... yeah... interesting................................ FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSS GRRR im so mad but i feel like crying ;(

2 <3*!s x love me stolen from 418 ;D [07 Apr 2002|10:09pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | marilyn manson- *sweet dreams* ] Ideal GUY Survey: + Physical Features + hair color: brown eye color: blue, orrrrr brownish green ;) height: 5'10 and up. six pack or nice belly: nice belly. facial hair: hmm a lil long or short hair: shorttttttt glasses: no.. scars: it doesn't matter. big bushy eyebrows or fine straight hairs: no bushy lol chest hair: NOOOOOOOO lol dark leg hair: dont care buff or skinny: not a dude that has legs that are sticks lol straight teeth, gap or braces: straight/or in the process of being so lol. Personality funny or serious: bothhhhh :) party boy or stay at home and cuddle guy: erg both lol can he cook or bake: he better be able to cook lol does he have a best friend: yeah. lots of girl friends: nah outgoing/loud or shy: all 3 ;D sarcastic or sincere: sincere for the most part. tells his g/f he loves her: of course :) watch chick flicks: yeah occasionally with me. is he a phone person: late at night. does he smoke: no. does he drink: ...i dunno does he swear: yeah..but not every sentence he says is he a virgin: doesnt matter + Dating Style + one girl at a time or lots: one he pay for the date: he should ;x kiss on the 1st date: hmm yes :X french kiss or friendly peck: both. does he do more than kiss on the 1st date: no.. would he pick you up: yeah. where would you go for dinner: doesnt matter just as long as its not fast food lol open doors for you: has to be a gentlemen ;D bring flowers: hmm sure why not ;P write poetry: ^^^ call you hunny, sweetie or babe: babygirl ;) would he hang around with you and your friends: doesnt matter when he hugs you, where are his arms, waitst or back: anywhere he wants them to be ;D does he walk you to the door at the end of your date: sure why not. + PDA's + holding hands: yeah. hugging quickly: yeah. short sweet kisses: yeah. + Sports + football: tight pants, bend down :XXXXXX lol baseball: ^^^^^^^ basketball: sure why not soccer: soccer dudes are weird... swimming: speedossssssss lol skatin: nope. + Does He.. + sing: sure play guitar: YES play drums: ^^^ clean his room a lot: lol...... think justin timberlake is gay: *shrugs* call other guys gay?: yeah. hug other guys?: i don't care. spread the love! what would his name be: *shrugs* whatever his name just happens to be :D

3 <3*!s x love me [05 Apr 2002|10:50pm] [ music | watching CrY babY ;D ] 'Personal Questions' What Time Is It Now? 10:50 ;D First Name: rachael Middle Name(s): rose Last Name: r. Birth Date: nov o2 Sex: female Piercings: left ear, 3, right, 2 Tattoos? not yet, hopefully this year Nicknames: rach, babygirl, pebbles, etc City/Province Of Birth: Dallas, tx Do You Still Live There? no, wish i did Where Are You From? texas... Height: 5'7-5'8 Shoe Size: 10 Hair Color? uh brownish red Hair Length? longgggggggg Eye Color? gold Siblings: sister, katie Pets: 3 dogs 'Last Questions' Last Movie You Saw In The Theatre: queen of the damned Last Movie You Rented: uh shit, my dad rents movies like every other day so i dunno, last rented movie i saw was Momemto Last Movie You Bought: forrest gump and fast and furious Last Song You Listened To: uhmmm.... Last Song That Was Stuck In Your Head: oh lord lol Last Song You've Downloaded: uhmm marilyn manson sweet dreams lmao Last CD You Bought: uhmm, queen of damned soundtrack Last CD You Listened To: ^^^^^^ Last Person You've Called: robert Last Person That's Called You: robert Last TV Show You've Watched: *shrugs* Last Person You Were Thinking Of: dusten 'Do Questions' Do You Have A GF Or A BF: i dont know anymore!!!!!!! Do You Currently Love Anyone? i dont know anymore cuz GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Do You Currently Feel Like You Are In Love? no Do You Have A Crush On Someone? no Do You Wish You Could Live Anywhere But Here, If So, Where? gosh... Do You Get Along With Your Parents? god, i wish Do You Believe In Love At First Sight? kinda Do You Think About Suicide? yes Do You Believe In Online Relationships? erg Do You Find Yourself Attractive? no Do You Find Yourself Ugly? yes Do Others Find You Attractive? lmao. no Do You Want (more) Piercings? *shrugs* Do You want (more) Tattoos? yeah... Do You Drink? no Do You Do Drugs? yes Do You Smoke? i just recently started back again, my stupid fuckin self Do You Like Fishing? heh its cool :D Do You Like Cleaning? no Do You Like Roller Coasters? yesssss cedar point at sandusky ohio, oh baby lol 'Have You' Have U Ever Cybered? uh... Have U Ever Smoked? yes Have U Ever Done drugs? yes Have U Ever Drank alcohol? yes Have U Ever Gotten So Drunk? yes lmao Have U Ever Gotten A Blow Job? no Have U Ever Got Fingered Or Gotten A Hand Job?: got fingered Have U Ever Had Sex? not willingly Have U Ever Flashed Anyone? no 'For or Against' Long Distance Relationships: neutral High School Long Term Relationships: against Using someone for personal pleasure: lmao Suicide: against Killing People: against Assisted Suicide: thats like uhmm murder lmao Skipping school: for Teenage smoking: against to an extent Doing Drugs: for lmao Premarital Sex: for Driving Drunk: not cool...i've been in the car with drunks before and i hated it Gay/Lesbian Relationships: for Jerry Springer: stupid and lame, against Soap Operas: ^^^^ dramatic 'Best Questions' Best Friend(s): katie Best Person To Talk To: ............. Best Relationship: .......... Best Gum: extra Best TV Show Of All Time: i love lucy Best Online Friend: ........... Best Thing That's Happened To You: nothing Best School Subject: math Best Thing In The World: gosh...life Best Thing To Collect: I DUNNO Best Color Of All Time: blue, yellow, silver Best Piece Of Clothing You Own: my jeans Best Thing To Do On A Rainy Day: sleep Best Stuffed Animal You've Owned: i dunno, fluffy Best Feeling In The World: happines. 'Fav Questions' Fav Food: erg Fav Song: erg Fav Thing To Do: erg Fav Thing To Talk About: ERg sex ;x Fav Thing To Watch: music Fav Sport To Play: basketball Fav Sport To Watch: football lmao Fav Sports Player(s): uhmm lol Fav Thing To Drink (non-alcoholic): Dr. Pepper Fav Thing To Drink (alcoholic): uh, screw divers, light beer, JD, Wiskey, vodka etc Fav Thing To Wear: pjs Fav Thing To Sleep With: lotsss of blankets Fav Person To Talk To: ........... Fav Thing(s) In Your Room: ............... Fav Picture: baby pics of me and pups Fav Movies: *shrugs* 'Have You Ever' Have You Ever Been In Love? yes Have You Ever Felt Completely Happy Regardless That Things Aren't So Great? lol...... Have You Ever Had Sex: not willingly Have You Ever Cried Because Of A Member Of The Opposite Sex? yes Have You Ever Been So Awake Yet Tired At The Same Time: yes Have You Ever Read A Book That Was So Good That You Couldn't Put It Down? yes Have You Even Given Or Received Flowers? yes Have You Ever Lied To Someone? yes Have You Ever Got In A Serious Fight? yes Have You Ever Been Arrested? no 'How Questions' How Many TV?s Do You Have? 6 How Many Computers Do You Have? 2 How Many Phones Do You Have? 3 'What Questions' What Shampoo Do You Use? uhh...... What Perfume Do You Use? tommy girl What's Your Fav Outfit? i dunno What Shoes Do You Wear? vans and adidas What Are You Scared Of? lots of shit What Sports Do You Like? bball...etc... really tired and pissy

2 <3*!s x love me Is this true? [05 Apr 2002|10:31pm] You are a very sensitive person and you try hard (perhaps a little too hard) to make favourable impressions and to be recognised by your peers. But you have that inherent need to feel appreciated and admired and you are easily hurt if all of your endeavours go by unappreciated or not acknowledged. Stop trying so hard. You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with. You wear your heart on your sleeve and since you are an emotional person you are apt to give your all - heart and soul - to all those that show you a little affection; but take care - it would appear that you have been extremely hurt in the past and you keep leaving yourself wide open for punishment. Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in 'two-timing' and all you seek is sincerity and 'straight-dealing'. You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.

2 <3*!s x love me yeahhh [05 Apr 2002|10:57am] [ mood | calm ] [ music | Yes *owner of a lonely heart* ] Since I dont really write anything in here except put surveys, and quizes and lyrics, lets write! :D Today I gotta go to work at 2:30 til 9:30, yeah, wonderful. Tomorrow, work from 2:30 til 9:30, bitches ;/ I swear, she really really needs to find more people to work, i'll be happy then ;D But next week is all good, she cant really work me next week :) Cuz of school and all. SCREWY SPRING BREAK ;/ It sucked ;/ Sunday I gotta go to Camp Hanes to do that training bs, mhmm ;/ Yeah... Yeahhh.... ;/ My thesis...coming at a later time ;x Probably tonight

love me [05 Apr 2002|10:42am] [ mood | blank ] [ music | Weezer *island in the sun* ] nine things you wear daily: bra pants shirt panties make up vans/adidas watch necklace ring eight movies you'd watch over and over: breakfast club dirty dancing gladiator bodyguard life as a house 16 candles uh dunno uh dunno lol seven albums that matter: staind staind staind cold incubus metallica queen of the damned soundtrack (ITS AWESOME :X) six objects you touch every day: my hair my phone the computer the fridge lol my face my doggy lol five things you do every day: take a shower LJ...lol...im addicted ;/ talk to dusten talk to katie eat/drink ;D four bands that you couldn't live without: staind incubus LP everyone on the Queen of the damned soundtrack lol three of your favorite songs at this moment: Tricky- excess Jimmy Eat World- number ehhh 8 i think lol, the one wit the long intro Staind- everything on their cds ;) two people that have influenced your life the most: mike, he changed me for the better even though the better hasnt showen up yet, probably b/c it showed up when i was wit him, fuck :D katie, she doesnt know it, but she does, i dont think she'd believe it either one thing you could spend the rest of your life with: love what you are wearing at this moment: shorts and shirt, pjs ;D things you collect: nothin anymore what you would like to own/buy at this moment: car what kind of car you have: blah lol, i know im gettin a Jeep so yea a Jeep... do you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend?: yes things that always manage to make you smile: ;/ Mike always manages to make me smile but he always manages to make me cry. To me, if a guy makes you guy, they say he isnt worth it, but if you dont cry over a guy, you never cared. OH WELL. What else- my dogs makes me smile cuz heh when i was a new born, came home to 6 dogs ;D MOST pictures of me as a baby, include dogs lol I'll even show u some ;D and yeah etc what you like best about your appearance: nothing what you like least about your appearance: everything what are your bad habits? biting my nails, hurting others emotionally 24/7

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